Fascinating, One-of-a-Kind Austin Tours and Experiences for the Discerning Austin Visitor.
Do you hate history and haunted sh*t but still want to go on a tour for some reason? I’ve got you covered!
Are you wanting to meet a local Austinite and see how they live? Maybe even talk to them? No problem! I know where to find them. (And it’s not where you’d think!)
Need a memorable experience, embarrassing story, or just want to exercise questionable judgment in a place where no one knows who you are? Look no further! This is the tour company for you.
Exclusive Austin Tours For Special People Like You!
Awesome Austin Tours by Mike can’t be found on Airbnb, Viator, or any major travel website. And that’s not just because they won’t allow it – it’s because these tours are just too awesome – much like our customers.
If you’ve found yourself on this site, let’s face it, it’s because you are very attractive and smart and you are looking to take your vacay to the next level. We’re honored to have you here.
What sorts of tours and experiences do I offer? Let’s take a look.
The Awesome Austin Tours!
The Austin Coffee Tour
I’ll walk you down to Cherrywood Coffeehouse where you will buy me a coffee and watch me work on my laptop without bothering me. [1 hour. $50. Coffee not included.]
The Austin Road Trip Tour
We’ll start at my house, then drive over to the car wash in my Mazda. Once there, you’ll get to wash the outside and vacuum the inside. If you do a good enough job, I’ll let you Armor All the tires. [1.5 hrs. $65.]
The Austin Garden Tour
Everyone will get a chance to mow my lawn and clear out some invasive bamboo. Then we will imagine there is a beautiful garden there and call it a day. [2 hours. $35]
The Downtown Trivia Tour
We’ll walk around downtown and I’ll point to lots of stuff. Each time I point at something you’ll tell me what it is. If you get it wrong, that’s ok I don’t know either and we’ll move on to the next thing. [1 hour. $90.]
The Luck of the Irish Tour
I’ll divide you into groups and give each group a package filled with a stapler, some tape, a map, and a bunch of flyers that advertise my tours. Each time you hang a flyer you will receive more good luck. [3 hours. $30]
The Awesome Austin Experiences!
The Super HEB Scavenger Hunt
I’ll give you a list of things that HEB sells. You’ll go there, try to find them, buy them, and then bring them back to me. [1-2 hours. $10+ cost of purchases. Items must be left in my pantry and refrigerator after the tour ends.]
The Austin Rocks Experience
We’ll go down the street and look at some rocks. You’ll be able to give them whatever names you like and then take up to 20 photos. For another $5 you can take one home with you as long as we don’t get caught. [30 min. $25]
The Candy Bar Experience
You’ll go into the convenience store around the corner and buy a candy bar. Then we’ll head to the park where you will unwrap the candy bar and throw it into the air and try to catch it in your mouth. Each time you catch it, you’ll eat one bite. If you don’t catch it, you’ll pick it up from the ground and keep trying. The first person to finish eating the candy bar is the winner and had the best experience. [1 hour. $45.25]
The Act Like A Local Experience
I’ll give you a map indicating eight different high-trafficked intersections downtown. You’ll spend 15 minutes at each one, waving to drivers with out-of-state plates. [4 hours. $80]
EXTREME Awesome Austin Experiences By Mike
Warning! These offerings are only for those looking for top-shelf memories.
The Heavy Thing Experience
I’ll come up with something heavy and awkward to carry and we’ll take it around to different places where it doesn’t fit very well. [5 hours. $110. ]
The Austin Bus Tour
We’ll spend the afternoon trying to get from one side of Austin to the other by using public transit. Bring headphones, a book, or something else to keep you busy. [2-8 hours, who knows. $100 + $2.50 bus fee.]
The Live Music Capitol Experience
I have a bag of damaged instruments you’ll take down to the hike and bike trail. Once there, you will make lots of noise and ask strangers for money. [10 hours. $30 + half your earnings. (self-guided).]
I also offer customized tours for distinguished clientele, especially those for whom “money is no object”.
How to Book Your Tour
For more information, please email me at email@example.com. Include the name of the tour(s) you are interested in, dates and times that work for you, number of people in your group, and relevant personal limitations.