IRL Experience Design

When you arrive at the museum, your strength and height are assessed. Then you are given a valuable work of art to hold as you wander the museum.

Do you want to see other art?

Well, you’ll have to find a stranger holding some other art.

Here, there is no art displayed in the formally. All the art is carried by other patrons.

Even with the “how much can you carry” question addressed, I see that we might have another challenge to solve: Some groups will form around certain people – not because of the art but because those people are more attractive. Attractive people might distract from the art. So people might have to wear a mask or costume. Or at least the attractive people will have to. Or maybe we ask everyone to wear a costume. No one likes getting their feelings hurt at the museum.

Maybe they can’t even talk. Or maybe the point is to talk to other people and so no mask.

Maybe the artists are there to keep an eye on you so you don’t mess up their stuff.

Maybe you don’t know who the artist is, they just look like anyone else.

For those that don’t like holding art in a museum, maybe there are two options, Number One: hold this art; and Number Two: Look at people holding that art.

Maybe the art is arranged by a curator at certain times. Maybe all the art needs signed by the guests, because at this point they are part of the art. Maybe they should sign the museum instead.

Maybe this is a good idea for a silent auction. The person holding the art has to try to get bids, and it is a contest between art holders to see who gets the highest bids.

Or… maybe it’s just a museum where people walk around with art.

Maybe the art is all small art. And it is covered up or in a box. So people come up to you and ask to see the art, and you open the box and show it to them. Then you hide it again and wait for the next person.

But how does the museum maintain that they have “no place to put it”? Clearly a museum making such a claim would not be so daft as to present itself with blank walls, easily discernable by patrons as perfectly good places to put art that was puported to have no location to be put.

Perhaps the walls are covered in something ridiculous that is clearly less-deserving. Or perhaps this museum is out in a field where there really isn’t any place to put it. I like that idea. It might also double as commentary about the lack of cultural infrastructure.

I have made the assumption that most of the art is light, most of the patrons are strong, or that there is a mix of both and that the art and patron are matched up with these qualities in mind. There might need to be wagons, dollys, or other means of moving the art around should we have more heavy art or more wimpy patrons than expected.

This one is pretty self-explanatory. I have all this stuff in my life that goes beep: my microwave, washer, dryer, oven, alarm clock, car, phone, etc. Is anyone cataloging these?

But beeping is dying out. In this high-tech modern world 20th century beeping is quickly being replaced by sing-songy little tunes. My TV has a tune, some washers and dryers have a tune, some cars have tunes. Who will preserve the beeps? 

We need to start collecting items that go beep and put them in one place so that future generations can understand and experience what we’ve listened to.

This museum is an earnest effort to preserve, but also a social commentary on human’s resistance to impermanence as manifested through a penchant for history hoarding. How much of the past is really important to keep around?

Why are there Children’s Museums but no Elderly’s Museums? 

(I mean, geez, it’s such an unconsidered concept does anyone even know how to spell “eldery’s”? Should it be “elderlies'”?)

The only age group that gets their own museum are children.

I imagine most of the children’s museums would wince at being lumped in with entertainment centers. They no doubt distinguish themselves by being “educational” in some fashion. Well I think we could some “educational” museums aimed at the specific age-based needs of different age groups.

I’m not going to partition off that middle section between the children and the elderyies into various groups but I think we can all agree that “old” is a group. 

This is not proposed as a cohort museum, mind you. It is not specific to one generation. Being a cohort museum would open the door to exhibits of nostalgia related to a certain generation, which is not what I am talking about.

What I’m talking about is a perennial museum that does not need to change because the contents speak universally to all elderlees people, regardless of generational cohort. 

Once they are old enough to be admitted to the museum, of course.

Yes – you should only be allowed to go to the Elderleas museum if you are old enough. 70, perhaps? 80?

What would be in the museum? I don’t know. Children’s museums are made by people who used to be children. I think the Elderleez Museum – 70 and up, only please – should be made by people who used to be in their 70s. So we get people in their 80’s to make a museum for people in their 70’s. 

And similarly, we have people in their 90’s making a different museum for people in their 80’s. We might want to change the numbers to 20 year intervals or something, but you get the idea.

What is the purpose of this museum? The same as the children’s museum: to provide their patrons knowledge that they will need as they grow up. 

Can I be more specific on the content that would be in the Eldaleesh Museum? No. Find someone that is 80 to tell you.

Well, there’s the obvious implementation of this idea: it’s a museum where there’s a bunch of loose snakes crawling around.  Duh. But how many snakes? Is it just a few snakes that you might get lucky to see or is the entire floor covered in snakes a la Indiana Jones? And where do we get all these snakes? How many of them should be poisonous?

But, despite the name, loose snakes is not the purpose of this museum. That’s just one implementation of a more general idea. Truth be told, making a museum filled with loose, possibly poisoness snakes into a success is probably trickier to pull off than it sounds.

The more general idea is this: seeing art while you’re scared. What would that experience be like?

Obviously somewhat distracting. But perhaps there are times when you are assured there is no danger and then other times that the museum announces it is going to release the snakes for a while.

It’s been shown that anxiety and excitement really are the same sensations in the body and that it’s just a matter of how you interpret those sensations.

Could loose snakes be a good way to get people more excited about art? That’s the question.

Again, “loose snakes” is just an example. It could be some kind of haunted house monster or one of the less angry types of bears. It doesn’t matter. The idea is that you get people feeling excited.

To lean more into the snakes, what if the art were literally in a haunted house? So that instead a of a museum with some scary parts, it’s a scary place with some museum parts? 

Perhaps the art is positioned precariously and while you are looking at it, you are also thinking, “holy sh*t, this thing looks like it is going to fall on me”. Or you think (excitedly) “Mixed media that mixes live flame and walls coverd in paper mache’!” 

If you like the idea of loose snakes but can’t find any for your museum, here’s some other options that might be an ok substitute: rats, cockroaches, bees, possums, etc.